The last time I went to church physically; which was months ago by the way, I felt like “throwing up”. By the time they got to the sermon, I was almost sleeping. I honestly wondered why I even went in the first place. By the time we were giving our tithes and offerings, I was so bored out of my skin. I couldn’t wait for it to end. And I have been feeling like this for a long time that I even began to question not just my sanity but my faith too.
My so called boredom stems from a deep seated hunger and thirsty for Him and His manifest presence. I long for the day when church will just be about Him, not us. When we would just sit at His feet and gaze at Him, adore Him, revere Him. Just wanting Him and nothing else. Where it won’t be about programs, shows, entertainment; because, that’s basically what we do today in church. I long for the day when we will let the Holy Spirit and the presence of God run the show.
I am desperate for Him. And going to church and this hunger not being satisfied is frustrating to say the least. I am so sick and tired of being fed “junk” every Sunday and being comfortable. I believe there’s more to church than the programs and the mechanization. I am so sick and tired of going to church and coming back “worse” and more empty than I was.
I am desperate for the kind of sermons that bring transformation not just comfort, the kind that does deep, delicate but necessary heart surgeries that make you really want to be like Christ. The kind of sermons that makes you lie prostrate and cry out desperately for Him because you know you are a wretched man. The Bible says the Word of God is a double-edged sword. I am desperate for the Word that provokes change, transformation, attracts the world to the church and affects the market place.
I am so sick of the Word that patronizes me and soothes me about my sin, holiness, that makes me comfortable and okay living in sin, that makes me just want to throw up. Don’t get it twisted here, there’s grace and God can meet you where you are and however you are. But that’s not what I am talking about.
I am so sick of us singing, lifting our hands to a God we don’t intimately know, doing it out of obligation because the worship leader said so and not out of love or reverence for Him. I hunger for the messy kind of services where the beauty of God just messes you up, you’re simply blown away when you think of how God can love and save a wretch like you. And then when you sing of His amazing love and His amazing grace, you really know what it means.
Does anyone want just Him? Can we just come to church and gaze at Him?
Unfortunately, most believers know about God and church history but not many of us really know God. We know the Word but we don’t know the God of the Word. The devil isn’t scared or intimidated of your knowledge of the Word of God. He knows the Word and he trembles at it. The devil is terrified of your knowledge of the God of the Word.
Beholding and gazing at Jesus isn’t intellectual but spiritual. It doesn’t inform you, it transforms you. You can’t behold Him and remain the same. It’s not an idea, it’s an experience.
The highest level of worship is when we push aside His hands and pursue His face! I yearn for the day when we can push His hands aside and say, “I just want to be where you are.” I believe that when we get to this level, our worship will no longer be self-serving. Our worship will shift from “bless me” to “bless Him”.
Introspection
Does the church suck this bad? Can we stop with our mechanization, programs, eloquence and all that and just come and gaze at Him? And allow the Holy Spirit to lead us for once?
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with the programs but it’s all empty if they aren’t backed up and led by the Holy Ghost. We need fresh fire, fresh bread on our altars. We tend to be satisfied with stale bread. Even our obedience is aligned to if God will align Himself to our plans and schedules. We seem okay and satisfied with stale bread so long as it doesn’t upset us otherwise we take offense.
We need fresh bread, the kind that made Peter tell Jesus to get away from him ( Luke 5:8), that made Isaiah to say he was a man of unclean lips. Isaiah saw the Lord and he was never the same. And after seeing Him, he cried out that he was doomed, a man of filthy lips (Isaiah 6:1–5).
You can’t experience His manifest presence and remain the same. Ever!
We need the manifest presence of God in the church!
I miss the old church where bread was fresh, where we had reverence for God, the first love was lived and our lives was the sermon.
Can we just come and gaze at Him?
He’s beautiful, very beautiful; we are all created in His own image. He’s a creative genius; just look at the marvelous works of His creation, He’s savage Jesus and so much more.
Forget about your requests, your plans, His gifts and blessings. Does anyone want just Him? Is anyone thirsty for His manifest presence?
Conclusion
Don’t get it twisted though. I have nothing against the church or Christianity. Going to church is fine and a Biblical thing. But you don’t do anyone any favors by just sitting there. Churches are filled with spiritual sightseers who feel like they’ve done their religious duty by sitting and listening.
Can someone just give me Jesus!
